Pinned toot

if we're having an argument, and i can provide a screenshot where you said ''hey jack click this'' and then the word ''bitch'' behind a spoiler, i automatically win that argument.

yer not actually supposed to swallow the gum at a gum-tasting. They make you spit it out.

Jack Noir boosted

maybe he's not saying ''the bart the'' in german, maybe he's actually saying ''die bart die''.

Jack Noir boosted

person 1: "make a crush poll make a crush poll!"

person 2: "fine"

person 1: *votes no*

taxation might be theft, but theft is just a tax on having poor security.

crush poll because bandwagon.

Jack Noir boosted

people should add in "i dont know" to polls more often

what should i eat?
1. pizza
2. ramen
3. idk

if it doesn't skip any steps, it's not a crush. it's just liking someone.

crushes are awful. there are prerequisites to being attached to someone, and crushing skips all of them.

''you like this person now. no trust, only like.''

one of life's biggest mysteries is why boomers still haven't figured out that cashiers don't actually want customers in their store.

Jack Noir boosted

it's funny 'cause you may think Zote's playing strong as a façade but no, when you Dream Nail him, he actually thinks he's The Shit™

Jack Noir boosted

if we're having an argument, and i can provide a screenshot where you said ''hey jack click this'' and then the word ''bitch'' behind a spoiler, i automatically win that argument.

fuck, i just remembered that humans don't molt, so those tattoos are permanent.

that's a big yikes moment.

i guess the guy naming the alphabet for americans died just before the last letter.

so instead of ''zed'' he was just like ''ze-'' and that's what got written down.

all i think of when i see that symbol is ''zed'', as in, ''zed's dead baby''.

i'm thinking now maybe that's why his name was zed.

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