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alter intros!!! this is just gonna be a thread of a bunch of them so i can easily add to it bc. we split so easy besties.

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long post, kinda explanation of why we are back, if anyone wants more info or to talk personally just let us know!! either dm or reply to this <3 

hi hello. it is us, the sys tht silvan used to be host of. uhh ce integrated... 2 years ago. and ser, the result of tht integration is now a traumaholder that doesnt front much (we'll get into tht in another post). so you probably wont see vim around. we do have all cir memories though and ykno. care for u all the same.

we know tht our exit from this instance a couple years back was... messy to say the least. i dont think we handled things well. i also think some ppl on this side didnt handle things great either. but we are sorry that things ended like that and promise its not going to happen again.

we have missed mastodon and trollian and everyone here a lot, even some of the ppl we didnt end on great terms with. us rejoining is actually a result of going through a folder of screenshots from here and realizing what we had and how much we missed it.

obviously we realize that things arent going to be exactly the same and that we will all have to get to know each other again (i mean. its been over two years and for our sys, none of the rlly active alters existed back then). but we are excited to do so :3

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The Siren Situation. big tws for s/a, manipulation, cheating, and general abuse 

hey i realize tht this is going to come out of nowhere for yall and i do realize which server im sending this in but i figured it was the easiest way to get this info to all of yall and also. u deserve to know. in the time tht its taken to properly look back and process the things tht occurred during our relationship, redacted sys (my irl bestie who was on skaia. they went by bunnie and keter and rat at the time i believe. maybe also heresy/eric) and i have realized tht siren. is a predator. to put it succinctly and. kindly. and we feel like its something u all deserve to know bc u did interact with them a lot and ik tht some of u were v close with them before everything with trollian v skaia went down.

i dont know. if siren recognizes just how predatory pretty much every aspect of their relationships with trent and ser were, i honestly believe tht theres a chance tht among all the manipulation of us and everyone around us, theyve manipulated themself into believing in the false reality where everything they did was fine or at least far more okay than it was. but either way is dangerous. and i think, knowing tht many of u have trauma, u need to be aware of this and u need to be aware tht in every aspect tht siren fucked up, they know what the correct actions wouldve been. they could talk the talk the entire time, they just didnt follow through. they absolutely took advantage of the trauma tht redacted sys and i have and did things tht werent okay and tht we would not have put up with in proper states of mind, while having had repeated talks abt what wouldve been safe and appropriate instead.


siren constantly manipulated redacted sys and i throughout the relationship and the two of us agree they probably only dated me to be closer with redacted sys/get more attention/have more of an excuse to have a very open poly relationship.

redacted sys and siren ended up moving in together in a town 3 hours from where i live and during that time siren refused to communicate with me and purposefully lead me to believe that i would continue being left out if i joined them at that apartment. they also started looking for more partners on tinder and eventually started pursuing a relationship with a girl on there without ever mentioning it to me. i was then expected to be fine with that and act like everything was good and normal when i came up to visit.

siren was also fully capable of understanding how to act with systems and other alters fronting and would talk abt the proper way to act but proved to not care enough to match their actions to that. they expected our emotionless protector, j, to console them (bc they were jealous of a relationship redacted sys had that they agreed to) when j fronting was a clear indication that we were trauma responding. they also often acted like other alters fronting was an inconvenience and caused serious internal problems for both redacted sys and i.

they were well aware of us both being trauma survivors and our trauma responses as well and yet constantly acted like our trauma responses were a burden for them unless it was something they could exploit. they then took advantage of both redacted sys and my trauma responses and dissociation during...intimate situations in order to push boundaries and attempt to get us to agree to things we were uncomfortable doing.

theres a bunch of shit im leaving out just bc theres too many things but the tldr is:

siren is an awful manipulative person and not at all the person they presented as online. genuinely the biggest thing throughout the relationship was realizing pretty much every aspect of who they said they were on the internet was a lie.

im being vulnerable. ew gross an emotion. (its rlly. not much but yknow) 

hii. m3 h3r3 f0r th3 fiirzt tiim3 iin m0nthz juzt t0 zay. g0d fuck ii miizz th3 0ld dayz z0m3tiim3z. (iimag3z r juzt z0m3 zcr33nzh0tz 0f p0ztz ii hav3 fr0m back iin th3 day)

g0d ii zur3 wiizh tht 9 y3arz m3ant z0m3thiing t0 ppl but. iig iit d03znt. and iim a gr0wnup and ii juzt hav3 t0 liiv3 wiith tht

liik3 ii cann0t ztr3zz thiiz 3n0ugh. th3y want u. t0 thiink w3r3 whiit3. th3y want uz t0 thiink w3r3 whiit3. th3y want uz. t0 act whiit3. thtz b33n th3 g0al all al0ng. u r juzt falliing iint0 th3 trap.

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hii b3ztii3z ii am z0 tiir3d z0 h3r3z ur r3miind3r f0r iindiig3n0uz pplz day. actiing liik3 iindiig3n0uz ppl wh0 l00k whiit3 0r gr3w up z3p3rat3d fr0m th3iir cultur3. 0r d0nt quiit3 fiit criit3riia t0 hav3 a fuckiing iindiian card. r whiit3 and hav3 n0 riight t0 r3c0nn3ct wiith th3iir cultur3. iiz an act 0f vii0l3nc3. u z0und liik3 a whiit3 zupr3maciizt and u r juzt r3p3atiing th3 zhiit th3y trii3d t0 iinztiill iin uz wiith r3ziid3ntiial zch00lz and r d0iing rn wiith r3p3aliing th3 iindiian chiild w3lfar3 act. thankz.

hii ii want t0 t3ll u all abt an iint3ractii0n b3tw33n zcar (uz) and twiic3 3arlii3r. w3 w3r3 liit3rally 0n th3 v3rg3 0f a pzych0tiic m3ltd0wn and twiic3 juzt w3nt. cl3arly c!wiilbur iiz diirk. and zudd3nly 3v3rythiing waz fiin3 agaiin. and ii thiink iitz fuckiing hiilarii0uz tht thatz h0w 0ur braiin w0rkz

ii l0v3 iint3rn3t languag3. u kn0w thiingz r z3rii0uz and iim piizz3d 0ff iif ii ztart uziing :) iinzt3ad 0f :3. iincr3diibl3.

th3 h0l3 iiz by hiiz n3ck and n0wh3r3 n3ar hiiz tiitz. f0r 3xtra c0nt3xt.

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th3y call3d a zmall h0l3 iin rayz zhiirt fr0m n0rmal w3ar and t3ar a tiitty wiind0w. and ii g3nuiin3ly juzt cann0t b3lii3v3 h0w liittl3 th3z3 ppl kn0w abt th3 v3ry baziicz 0f liik3. any alt3rnatiiv3 zubcultur3. and ii d0nt want th3m t0 3v3n l00k at m3. ty.

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iiv3 d3ciid3d tht actually. iif ur an mcr fan iin thiiz day and ag3. iim takiing away ur alt card. (thiiz iiz a gr3at plan bc mcr fanz n0w r th3 0nly ppl tht w0uld actually tak3 0ff3nz3 t0 thiiz ztat3m3nt and n0t laugh iin my fac3)

liik3 th3y liit3rally zaiid. "th3y r z0 iint3r3ztiing". but iidk iif iim liik3. 0v3rr3actiing. t3chniically. iidt th3y br0k3 any 3xpliiciit rul3z. iit waz juzt zhiit ii diidnt thiink iid hav3 t0 zay. iig ii hav3 a miiziinf0 rul3...

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ii thiink. tht ii zh0uld ban thiiz p3rz0n. ii hav3nt. bc th3y w3r3 liik3. iim juzt wary 0f th3m!! ii juzt hav3 trauma fr0m an iintr0j3ct 0nly zyzt3m!! ii d0nt m3an t0 fak3claiim :((. but ii f33l liik3 thtz. bullzhiit and ii ztiill zh0uldnt l3t th3m g3t away wiith iit. and iif iim b3iing faiir t0 my p00r tiikt0k mutual. ii rlly zh0uld ban th3m.

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iim p0lyfrag. juzt btw. w3 zpliit at th3 dr0p 0f a hat and th3 pazt f3w yrz hav3 b33n. r0ugh. z0. ykn0.

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iid liik3 t0 updat3 u all and l3t u kn0w thiiz p3rz0n waz alz0 zhiit talkiing my mutual. aft3r ii zaiid th3yr3 my mutual. f0r. "0nly haviing dzmp iintr0j3ctz" and b3iing an "iintr0j3ct 0nly zyzt3m". liik3 ii zaiid. thtz my mutual. th3y hav3 5 dzmp z0urc3d iintr0j3ctz. th3y juzt happ3n t0 b3 th3 5 m0zt fr3qu3nt fr0nt3rz at th3 m0m3nt. ii hav3 61. :)

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"iim alz0 briitiizh tr3ad liightly" ii d0nt thiink ii wiill actually. h3ard ur qu33n dii3d. ii h0p3 all ur c0l0nii3z tak3 thiiz chanc3 t0 g3t th3 fuck away fr0m u

anyway hii tr0lliian. tht waz my abz0lut3ly unhiing3d and n3arly iinc0mpr3h3nziibl3 p0zt f0r th3 n3xt c0upl3 dayz. iill z33 u wh3n iim 0nc3 agaiin plagu3d by th3z3 th0ughtz tht ii muzt f0rc3 up0n u all.

ii juzt want3d t0 zay iidk tht a z3ntii3nt miin3craft zliim3 m0b rlly kn0wz wht z3x iiz. wh3n h3z l3arn3d 3v3rythiing h3 kn0wz abt humanz. fr0m watchiing th3 dzmp charact3rz. n0n3 0f th3m r g3ttiing any biitch3z. b3ziid3z wiilbur and th3 0nly biitch h3 g0t. waz a fiizh. and th3n h3 gav3 biirth 0ut 0f hiiz t03 liik3 z3uz. ii juzt f33l liik3 zliim3 miight hav3 th3 wr0ng iid3az h3r3.

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m3: haha ii wiill g0 t0 my liittl3 diizc0rd z3rv3r and ii wiill talk abt my ziilly liittl3 miin3craft m3n bc iik 3v3ry0n3 th3r3 agr33z wiith m3 and wiill hav3 th3 riight 0piinii0nz.
th3 0n3 p3rz0n iim n0t cl0z3 wiith and ii f0rg0t abt: hmm l00kz liik3 iitz tiim3 t0 r3p3at3dly miizund3rztand 3v3rythiing ur zayiing d3zpiit3 th3 fact tht ur juzt makiing ziimpl3 ztat3m3ntz. n0 ii wiill n0t juzt ztay 0ut 0f thiiz c0nv0 bc ii d0nt und3rztand wht ur talkiing abt. ii wiill f0rc3 u t0 3xplaiin. c0nztantly.

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