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"I learned in school ya don't call them indians anymore, it's native american. Like saying same sex partner instead of-"
"Bobby!"

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"Now just in case I am incapacitated for some reason, do you know how to start a man's heart with a downed powerline?"
"No?.."
"Well. There's really no wrong way to do it."

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"Sir, if you're calling me a liar you better be holding something stronger than an umbrella."
"9 Iron."
"Alright, you have a good day."

After discussing with kid my plans for the goth orchid, she said, "have you seen the goth mushroom? it's very goth too, also there's a pink one and people ship them"

Me: Here is my resume.
Interviewer: This just says "Autistic Transwomen with a special interest in technology."

dnd update: it is a running gag to compare our aasimar player to birds and say he has hollow bones and shit and we found a stash of bird seed and immediately started bullying him just like pspsping him and throwing bits on the ground for him

which is how i went like 4 months thinking the "seltzer" i was drinking was just really well flavor engineered until i finally read the whole label and realized it was 3 servings a bottle and full of artificial sweeteners to get the number that low so it was kind of just diet soda

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i remember youre also allowed to call like uhhh a drink 0 calories if its less than 5 a serving

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which admittedly probably works fine for like. snack foods and freezer meals but small candies nobody listens to the serving size on? uh oh

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if there's less than 0.5 grams of an ingredient in a serving youre allowed to say 0

i did try calorie counting and for a time it did work but. god starting it up just makes you feel so shitty like i dont care if this candy is somehow like 300 calories a serving im HUNGY

my hierarchy of needs pyramind: a big hammer (and tiny little piece on the top: estrogen)

hey i cant help but notice none of you gave me millions of dollars whats that about

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jerma.space

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