Pinned toot

*CREATES A CRYPTOCOIN STARTUP. PROMISING THE MOST AMBITIOUS INTERNET-OF-THINGS DEVICE SEEN IN YEARS. AS MORE PEOPLE GET INTERESTED AND BACK ME UP. I RUN AWAY WITH THE MONEY, ALL OF IT IN MY PRIVATE BANK ACCOUNT IN CAYMAN ISLANDS. SUCCESSFULLY CONNING MANY RICH WHITE CISHET MEN FROM THEIR MONEY.*

Pinned toot

*MOVES MY LEG SO VIOLENTLY IT POPS OUT OF THE SOCKET. FLYING AWAY AT 175 MPH.*

Pinned toot

IF I HAD TO TRANSLATE MY PERSONALITY? AM DOG WHO ACTS LIKE KIGGY.

AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE I HAVEN'T WATCHED D.N.A.NGEL YET. BUT I HAVE WATCHED EVANGELION TWICE.

CAL. :unverified: boosted

cal, it's you, you are so strong, lifting those two marshmallows on a stick

WHEN I WAS 14 MY DAD BOUGHT A DISC THAT WAS LABELED D.N.ANGEL.
IT ACTUALLY WAS EVANGELION.

CLEARLY, BASED ON MY ICON, I AM ANIME TOO,

WHY DO PEOPLE PUSH THEIR CUTICLES LIKE. WHAT'S THE PURPOSE.

CAL. :unverified: boosted

jade and jake are cryptids on account of being feral children in the jungle

CAL. :unverified: boosted
CAL. :unverified: boosted

stop headcanoning characters as heterosexual it's not realistic :/

I MIGHT AACTUALLY PASS OUT MY BODY IS FUCK.

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